Get Away!

I wish everybody n my life will get the fuck on out my life every fuckin body.... tied of everybody n everythin... Translation: While I appreciate your concern for me, I would like a bit of space. Seriously though, like my status!

I ain't playin'!!!

"One thing fosho Is I would never get playd like a lame rft ask aboud me bitch!!!!!!!!!!! Cause u must not know me" Translation: I am not the one to be trifled with, sir. I assume that you have not heard the news of my reputation which may in fact be legendary within this geographical area.

Sports fandumb

The 1995-96 Chicago Bulls did, in fact, win the NBA championship in rather convincing fashion.

A case of "Their"

"it's sad my child won't know who there dad is"

Translation: It is said that my child will not know his or her father.

Cialis? Viagra?

"Tell me why im over here fuckin an every time i get hard an fuck her for a liddle bit of time i instaly go back solf what the fuck that post to me is there sumthing wrong with me i mean dam tf"

Translation: Do explain why my penis becomes flaccid during intercourse, shortly after starting. Is there something wrong with me? The fuck?

Not Faygo?

"LISS DO FAYCHULS~"

Translation: Let's do facials!

Special Order

"DONT PASS THE BLUNT TO ME iF iTS NOT DiPPED iN THE PUSSY."

Translation: Dip the blunt in the specifically referenced vagina before passing it to me.

Oh, Mickey

"Way go mickey n picture of u cool n where u been hiding from me I though I lost u keep in remind u r then kkk"

Translation: Way to go Mickey! That picture of you is cool. Where have you been? I thought that I had lost you. Keep reminding me that you ok then. Ok.

This still makes my head hurt a bit.

Alert

"ILL NIGGA ALERT ILL NIGGA ALERT,...2 chainz be knowin sometimes fam"

Translation: Cool person alert! (2x)...The rapper known as 2 chains is often wise.

"Damn girl how you do dat dere, How you got a ponytail and you ain't got no hair. Haha!!!"

Translation: Damn, girl. How did you accomplish the feat of having a ponytail with no hair? Haha!!!

Social Networking Sites and Child Neglect

"Bitches b having whole kids to tend to but seem to want to argue on social sites BITCH KILL YO SELF U HEAR THEM KIDS IN THERE CRYING""

Plenty women spend disproportionately more time arguing social networking sites than tending to their kids. Our poster suggests that such women should kill themselves, noting their apparent neglect.

Thirsty

"Alright so I see alot of you bitches& niggas are confused about how this thirsty shit is supposed to work, so let me help y'all. If he or she is constantly liking& commenting on every picture you post,or steady hitting you up in yo inbox even though you ain't responding,THATS THIRSTY,but if he/she like a pic here& there,comment every blue moon, & hit ya inbox with a hey,hello, how you doing, or complimenting you on yo attributes, THATS JUST SOMEBODY TRYNA BE POLITE& LET YOU NO THAT THEY ACKNOWLEDGE YOU. So take the compliment,say thank you& be thankful,kuz alot of y'all couldn't get a head nod a couple years ago, let alone a kind gesture, so appreciate the attention & thank God you getting it"

Our observer posits that plenty of folk, male and female, are confused about the proper designation of the term "thirsty" to an individual. He astutely contrasts the activities by which his target audience mistakenly conflates. To those who take it upon themselves to "like" each post that their unresponsive beloved posts and unwaveringly fill inboxes, our observer counts them among the thirsty. If, however, such a person occasionally does the aforementioned activities, then that person is not to be counted among those of thirst. Our observer capitalizes an entire sentence to put greater emphasis on the possibility that perhaps this person is just being polite; following this, he insists that the receiving party of such potential politeness give thanks and be thankful, for suggestion that plenty of those receiving previously were not receiving such favor.

Ok. Simply put. Not everyone that compliments you is trying to bed you. Learn to distinguish and appreciate a fair gesture of politeness.

On that fruity pebble

"I'm bout to Blow the bang some fruity pebbles"

Another pretty easy one. This person just wants to take a smoke break, relax and enjoy part of a complete breakfast. 

Pajamas

"Bitch if you outside in yo pajamas then you automatically a dirty hoe""

This gentlemen merely suggests that one who is located outside of their place of residence wearing their pajamas is, by default, one who not only sleeps around, but is dirty. Reading in between the lines may suggest that by "dirty" this fellow may give reference to sexually transmitted diseases.

Oh, it's on!

"A anybody see this hoe ass bitck smack the fuck out of this hoe bitch I will come to job quit playing with me ugly ass hoe u and that bitch angle can get it Cs u look like some shit my dogs wouldn't even play with girl get a life" This one is pretty easy to explain once you really look at it.

The spelling is just kinda mind boggling. Luckily for me, you and everyone involved, this can be summed up through rap music. This will be the first of many times that this tactic will be used on this site.


 

A fine night out

"Man a i went 2 ice nite club n man i was disrespectful n i knw that bt she call me a bitch first n got n2 it wit ppl bt shit i didnt think i was wrong n what i had 2 do when i woke up this morning clean up like i said wtf man fuck it whatever"


 This one is actually fairly easy to translate. It really comes down to a man deciding to go out for an evening of drinks, debauchery and fun but the whole thing went awry when a hateful wench decided to throw some salt in his game. This of course led to a verbal confrontation between the two which then turned in to a physical confrontation between him and another gentleman at the establishment. After taking some time to sleep off his hangover, think and get himself cleaned up he has moved on and now wants to have a productive day.